"Assa the leading experta onna da siege warfare, I am often asked, how canna we maka da gates so thata, they can't be broken by the batteringa-rams and the bigga giants with the tree branches. I say to them, ey stupido, you cann'ta stoppa dem lika dat. Watta you gotta do is maka the gates so small that they can'ta be hit by the big balls and the trees and things. You maka da gates so they only four foota high, howa a gianta going to get his 'ead through? Smarta thinking, eh? But you heara complaints alla de time. The people can'ta get througha gates, they say, anda we donta have a siege all de time. You can'ta helpa some people."
—Marmalodi: Ibid, p509
"There issa' nothing lika da siege for da true spirit of war! When I sit inna' the camp, watching the enginesa' shooting de great big rocks at the walls, and smashing de place up, itta' warms my heart. You canna keppa' your battles and all that noisy cavalry boom-boom stuff. Give me a ballista and plenty of distance, and I show you howa a real manna' fights!"
—Giovanni Marmalodi, extract from A Treatise for de Deliverance of Cities, pg. 509.
"It issa mucha disputed as to what are da besta weapons fora making de siege. You gotta de stona throwers anna de bolt throwers, anna alla kinda cannons. Gunpowder is a greata invention. Iffa you can getta holda of a few mortars or bombards, you canna make de big holes in de walls. But you gotta have de right ammunition. So a stona thrower canna be justa as good. For ammunition, you can digga uppa de rocks 'an de stones, our use de big balls, or you can shoot dayd peoples over the wall to make the place stink. You canna even maka de spaghetti and shoota dat, or de razor-edged pizza."
—Giovanni Marmalodi, extract A Treatise for de Deliverance of Cities, p822.